It is always a question that bogs me early morning...where should I be or should I not be...
am I eligible to be here...the answer comes drifting through my window sill..YES.
The winter is almost sitting near the tree that is dyeing to hold on to the last colorful leaf of this year...as if the whole valley wants to hold on to everything that is passing by, the falling leaves,the fading colors,the drifting traffic,the glimpses of smiles and shows of emotions...these are small bit of mundane life..they come they go we sit and watch ..like a picture frame moving constantly in front of our eyes...
Nothing stays permanent but change..but within this change someone grows within you his love his affection makes the place you longed to leave so bearable...we all want to hold on...
But then you know or do not know..whatever we are holding on to is it mine?But in life what is ours? To me nothing in life is mine..its the illusion I bear in the deepest recess of my heart ..that everything I touch smell and feel I hold on to I crave for I yearn to be beside is mine...but they all are and have been ephemral why won't HE be then...
So I get up..I enjoy that for the time its suppose to be touching my sphere of existence he is mine..without knowing without trying without even feeling..I enjoy I realize greatest pleasure is not to love and get, well that is great but there is also a pleasure in just silently loving...silently giving and silently wishing that someone's dreams come true even before yours do...
may be one day...when life won't ask such questions..and when floating like a bird will be just what I would want...
it won't matter what I received or whether where I dwell was worth the stay..someone will be floating along besides...we all are after all..there is no anchorage its all a journey..people we meet people we cherish people we abominate...
but above all I am satisfied of meeting someone who at every step made my stay worthwhile...so is he...doing it right now..throbbing the 16 year heart in my 30 past body...making me a child again...beaming me with happiness...
and when I ask Is this the place I want to be ..the answer is YES....